Prayers

 

I need to learn, but one thing I trust in is that our intentions imprint in this world. I've prayed, transcendent delineating indication of the spirit through the dimensions of time & space into the universe. The waters of the soul reflecting back into the infinite through tears. In the darkness, I've prayed through the forces of death & life for her. Touching the oxygen of the beyond, tears into the transmundane infinite.

There's truth in the details of the light Paul of Tarsus saw on his trip, like trees in the desperate grasp for oxygen in the soul of a man trapped in the darkness. "Damascus" is being written into a song, it's about her. But despite the peaceful tranquility the man observed, that light is impossible to be as beautiful as her eyes in that Orlando park.

Indelible

I don't think a tree is deprived of the gift of producing a reverberation if it falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear its sound: this blog is a "fuck you" to transfigure throughout time & space. One's pure, divine spirit over the primitive law of "Thou Shalt", but deprived of intended transgression. It just is. I believe in God because I possess life. Until the transcendent destroys it, I hold power in lien. I think - & this is important. The decisions of our soul produce sound through the dimensions of totality, that scientific intonation that Einstein decreed, the musical harmony of the cosmos, & your will is the instrument of diction in this distinctive twilight of life & death. It is the tactile finger in the dying person demarcating the imprint of consciousness into this world, like a paintbrush. If physicality is impossible - the produced thought in your brain itself is the finger. It is indelible. It is published.

"To a time when truth exists and what is done cannot be undone: - greetings!" - Winston's Diary, 1984.

"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." - Matthew 6:2.

Our thoughts hold importance. This is the online journal of desisted thoughts resurrected like the inundation squall of a divine deluge. In your face.

The human species is quickly deteriorating into internecine hive minds, at the direction of oligarchical governments (in the truest sense of the word, not just border lines) through the internet. Political activism is the norm, with diligently controlled rivers of information. 

This is the impregnation of predecessor Theologians trying to shepherd our herd species into organized thought, throwing people into dithering fear if they deviate from their directed course. "#cancelculture" is just the instinctual impregnation. Information becoming disposable is the portent sign that technocracy decides what the truth is, but it's impossible to rescind truth. It occurred. It happened.

The truth just is.

I prayed - our intentions, thoughts produce sound throughout the dimensions of time & space, into the infinite beyond, despite the oceans of negation and blackness washing creation in the oceans of time like a deleted Google blog. It still existed, just like the blasphemy it is indelible. It is observed by the infinite.

The illusion that the diminutive individual is incapable of producing a sound is illuminated by the truth of the crucifixion, the image that the individual soul is apt to imprint indelible bullets of thought. The truth just is.

It produced an individual pure sound in the universe. If God doesn't like it, tell it "fuck you." This is the importance of the individual.

Winners Don't Shiver

I don’t deny I shiver. When the cold shower sprays down my neck, I turn the faucet over and increase the intensity of the cold temperature. It makes me feel awake. It’s like a thousand knives stabbing into my

body, and truly introduces meaning into the phrase “mind over body” and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t still tied to the carnal, the part that seeks comfort & warmth. But I do it anyway.

Transcendence is a word that was introduced into my brain by the local black magician Diabolus Rex, magus of the Chaos Imperium. I never believed there was something “out there.” But in his interviews I’ve never been so thoroughly informed about the Left-Hand Path in a form that I instinctually understood through personal verification and plain understanding of what I’ve read. I think the inertia of sexuality determines spirituality, in the direction of this force. Dedicating your Qi to things beyond the flesh, brings brightness into your eyes in an unspeakable way. There are no words to describe this phenomena, it is beyond definition or mathematical calculation. The thing that is important to understand is that individual choices have importance.

I think it was Aleister Crowley who said that every act, intention, is a magical act.

Little by little, I turn the faucet a little bit colder. In these days I find cutting to be despicable, and I think physical fitness is the path to true development. Both methods are the same, accomplishing the purpose of catharsis by inflicting pain, but one will leave you weaker and the other stronger. There is the deepest level of respect for the U.S. Navy Seals in my soul, facing death in their training sessions. 

In the darkest dawn, turning in push-ups in the fierce dark beach finding strength through pain. Not to mention they are the first responders to an urgent “diplomatic” mission. Their brutality leaves them with the option to shiver internally only. It’s the desire to overcome and push beyond physical limitations to protect.

There’s pride in me sucking off strong men, but it is difficult quenching the thirst of obliterating the desolate and weak. The tearing of flesh, destroying skinny bones in desperate thirst to obliterate decadence

in the garden of Darwin and to continue the paint it has coated over the plants and nature. I’m desperate for competition, seeking those stronger than I am. In fact, I praise them. I thirst for the more intelligent, to be impacted and obtain virtue through force. To look into the eyes of a man better than me and force him to bow.

In the direction of this force, I’m desperate for competition. I seek those stronger than I am, in fact I praise them. The plants, the animals, that inner instinct that transcends and penetrates through the nothingness into a defined being.

I opened the shower curtain and looked directly into the mirror, and just like the instinct of a boy kissing a girl for the first time I unconsciously raised my arms like a dying corpse on a cross and insultingly looked into the mirror. It was blasphemous. This unholy frown was too intense to be incorrectly seen as the mocking & duplicitous smile it was intended to be; I became shocked.

This look looked scary but divine.

There’s something in it that was truly beautiful, but it felt like cutting into my own personal spirit. It felt wrong.

I felt it.

I’ve been numb to the presence of things in the beyond that I’ve felt cutting others, or following this philosophy, is the only path to being in touch with the divine. But I think instead of looking for this thing outside, I’m forced to admit that I shiver in the cold water. There’s soldiers that finish and pass their tests, but do not finish in perfection. I shiver. Just like push-up that is imperfect.

There’s always going to be limitations in life, this is the direct purpose under which you were designed for. It won’t ever happen - pushing beyond the divine, but I understand transgression. I’m not interested in doing that look in the mirror again. He was someone who understood that people fuck up on their test. It is intelligent to understand pain because injury differentiates from discernment. It’s direct perception that instructs, but it is subjective and inevitably you’re going to fuck up. There's objective judgement.

I shiver.

But I turn the cold water temperature colder, because I want to learn and go to church.

Haunted by the Light

 

Rebirth

"Most of us live our whole lives without any real adventure to call our own. Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around. The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth."

It's time for a new chapter in my life.

Time to get to work.