Prayers

 

I need to learn, but one thing I trust in is that our intentions imprint in this world. I've prayed, transcendent delineating indication of the spirit through the dimensions of time & space into the universe. The waters of the soul reflecting back into the infinite through tears. In the darkness, I've prayed through the forces of death & life for her. Touching the oxygen of the beyond, tears into the transmundane infinite.

There's truth in the details of the light Paul of Tarsus saw on his trip, like trees in the desperate grasp for oxygen in the soul of a man trapped in the darkness. "Damascus" is being written into a song, it's about her. But despite the peaceful tranquility the man observed, that light is impossible to be as beautiful as her eyes in that Orlando park.

Indelible

I don't think a tree is deprived of the gift of producing a reverberation if it falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear its sound: this blog is a "fuck you" to transfigure throughout time & space. One's pure, divine spirit over the primitive law of "Thou Shalt", but deprived of intended transgression. It just is. I believe in God because I possess life. Until the transcendent destroys it, I hold power in lien. I think - & this is important. The decisions of our soul produce sound through the dimensions of totality, that scientific intonation that Einstein decreed, the musical harmony of the cosmos, & your will is the instrument of diction in this distinctive twilight of life & death. It is the tactile finger in the dying person demarcating the imprint of consciousness into this world, like a paintbrush. If physicality is impossible - the produced thought in your brain itself is the finger. It is indelible. It is published.

"To a time when truth exists and what is done cannot be undone: - greetings!" - Winston's Diary, 1984.

"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." - Matthew 6:2.

Our thoughts hold importance. This is the online journal of desisted thoughts resurrected like the inundation squall of a divine deluge. In your face.

The human species is quickly deteriorating into internecine hive minds, at the direction of oligarchical governments (in the truest sense of the word, not just border lines) through the internet. Political activism is the norm, with diligently controlled rivers of information. 

This is the impregnation of predecessor Theologians trying to shepherd our herd species into organized thought, throwing people into dithering fear if they deviate from their directed course. "#cancelculture" is just the instinctual impregnation. Information becoming disposable is the portent sign that technocracy decides what the truth is, but it's impossible to rescind truth. It occurred. It happened.

The truth just is.

I prayed - our intentions, thoughts produce sound throughout the dimensions of time & space, into the infinite beyond, despite the oceans of negation and blackness washing creation in the oceans of time like a deleted Google blog. It still existed, just like the blasphemy it is indelible. It is observed by the infinite.

The illusion that the diminutive individual is incapable of producing a sound is illuminated by the truth of the crucifixion, the image that the individual soul is apt to imprint indelible bullets of thought. The truth just is.

It produced an individual pure sound in the universe. If God doesn't like it, tell it "fuck you." This is the importance of the individual.

2014

I need to be more clear and specific now. I have experienced a series of events in the past months that have changed my life forever, and I have gained a lot of knowledge and as well as lost a lot through mistakes. I'm usually very metaphorical and poetic when I write, but I need to change that. I need to be more clear, and easily understood. Misinterpretations have ruined too much.

I'm ready to begin working on my band. Our name is Distinctive Twilight and I will be performing vocals and guitar. The name is inspired by the phrase "the fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth." My variation of the Wolfsangel is our logo and it perfectly captures the core of our music. I'm not the first person in art to talk about the unification of the worlds of destruction and creation, nor will my music be limited to that, but the image conjured of a distinctive dusk or dawn is what I hope people will envision when they think of us. Besides, it's about time someone reclaimed that word away from the god-awful teenage vampire series. Some people will be upset by the fact that our logo was used by Nazi Germany - I can't really say anything other than pointing out that the first word in our band is "distinctive" and that the symbol can be traced back to ancient runes far back before Hitler was even born. Regardless, our art and intentions are pure, and I hope our integrity and passion for our work will be recognized.

There isn't a single ounce of musical talent in me, but that's something that I feel will be a representation of commitment and willpower. Words fail to provide justice to certain ideas in my head; I need music as another form of expression and hopefully people will be able to relate to what I/we have to express.

This isn't just about me, even though it's my project. I want people to experience something important when they attend our shows. I want them to make my music a part of them, a form of catharsis or comfort, a lucid dream they can join.

Additionally, I would like to speak about why I planned on joining the military, and why it did not work out. I feel that human survival depends on the competition for resources. Nations fight one another for them, and there are men and women putting their lives at risk so that we can enjoy luxuries that the majority of the population takes for granted. I don't feel comfortable with the knowledge that there are people right now making their hands dirty so that we can keep ours clean. I don't like that only a certain percentage of our nation's population is out doing essential duties to keep our country stable, even if its just economically.

From my experience, the majority of people who join the military are from a bad family or have limited life choices. I'm no exception to that. My father was abusive, my mother was a disgrace, and my sister deserted me. The opportunity to join was stripped from me because I am currently in the middle of an immigration procedure to help my mother return into the country. Despite no longer being in my life, she is still causing damage - but "fraudulent enlistment" is also another factor into why I was afraid of going forward into service, something I will not expand on but those knowledgeable can read between the lines. An investment with no return is not a smart decision.

Despite this, I still trust that I can find true family in the world, and there's been people I've met and had close to me that meant more to me, and me to them, than my own blood. We don't choose into which circumstances we are born into, but it's how we handle the cards that we are dealt that matter. This is why Satanism is such an important influence, and symbol, for what I believe in. Worship yourself, look out for what is in your best interest, cherish your loved ones, and take responsibility for your actions - especially your successes. As well, I love the fact that one's own birthday is the highest holiday.

I am not, and never have been, a follower or disciple of Satanism, it is just a religion that runs parallel to what I believe in, and labeling myself as a Satanist is just a way of describing myself more specifically. The term is commonly referred to so many different practices, but before Anton LaVey started his church in San Francisco, there was no organized group or set of beliefs labeling itself as such. Therefore, I highly encourage people who wish to read an intelligent, knowledgeable, and productive view/interpretation of the subject to read The Satanic Bible or visit www.churchofsatan.com

I will become an official member by the end of this year. Affiliation is purely a personal spiritual matter, not a need to provoke outrage or controversy.

Thank you for reading, and more will be posted shortly.

GRANDEUR

"...thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely. the production of the higher animals, directly follows. There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved."

https://www.facebook.com/distinctivetwilight

From so simple a beginning and I believe that endless exemplifications of love will evolve, over time, naturally. Let it begin.

The Music of Hardcore

I grew up in a Spanish speaking household, and language creates a certain outlook on life. When I speak in English it is still new to me, I don't have as much emotional attachment to it. Words sound emotionless, like they aren't honest. And with music being the best way I am able to communicate emotionally (words being logic), I think the natural conclusion is to start writing music in Spanish.

Hardcore has always been the only spirituality I hold. I remember going to my first show and I could see in the singer's face that he was spitting something out powerful and true. But in the crowd were stupid girls who wanted to fuck him just because of the scene he was a part of, and they were oblivious to the lyrics he was speaking, attacking them.

I identify with him, and in a way, would like to emulate, but in my own way. Nobody wants to hear about your problems, but if you design them into something beautiful, then people will start to pay attention. I would like to do that with people that I am close with.

The only burden of starting a band is that we would be required to play for other people and I don't like that. Especially if we became popular and fit into predesigned scenes that those with a label mentality automatically delegate.

My desire to make music is the same reason why Marilyn Manson created "Just A Car Crash Away", to have a catharsis and convey a certain message more accurately to those close with me.

Perhaps a Trent Reznor approach would be best, in where I can record all the instruments by myself, and privately show my creations securely and quietly.

I have only sang for one person in my life, and it was one of the most liberating experiences I have ever felt. She has been the only person to hear me sing, and said I was quite good. People in my family have been good at vocals, and one of them is actually a famous musician in his country, so the future looks promising in that respect, but don't expect to be hearing anything any time soon. Or even at all.