My words can be a complete terror that leave you in tears and catatonic huddle, or I can be the most affectionate person you have ever met. It all depends on how you treat me.
Stay with me on this one, it's still on topic. About a month ago I could barely run 3 miles under 30 minutes. And now I can kill those 3 miles in 20 minutes. It's all about improvement. If I can improve physically, what other areas in my life can I sharpen myself into and perfect?
I've made a list, and there are numerous things I'd like to accomplish before September. They won't be posted here, but believe me, they are paid attention to daily.
I have goals. I've had them for quite some time, and although I've had distractions, both emotionally and financially, they don't fade. And I'm going to accomplish them. Nobody that I grew up with ever believed I would raise myself to the level at which I'm at. And although there may be those pussy boys talking tough and having the family support to go to school full-time or to a nice college/university, they will never understand the advantage they hold.
So this is a new beginning for me. I needed to learn how to chill out, enforce my will, and now it's about organizing my tasks. I've learned what makes me happy, something as minuscule as flirting outside of a bookstore, and what makes me unhappy, the guilt and burden of being in a loveless relationship.
These following months will be my bootcamp, my own intense form of training. And when I step into September it will be in a Portland coffee shop, typing out a new blog post on my computer, and enjoying the sound of gentle delicate rain on the window.
