Today I completed a difficult task that took me over six months to accomplish. It was perhaps one of the most difficult challenges I've embarked on so far, but my end result is absolutely worth fighting for. Charlatans used to infuriate me, but now I hold a healthy dose of apathy towards those fucking losers. People will eventually expose them for the frauds that they are, and it is refreshing to recognize that others feel the same way as I do about them.
Diligence and nobility reward the hard worker.
So now it's time for me to work on more items on my 2012 "to-do list." Physical fitness is now my first priority, and let it be known here that before March 25, 2012 I will be able to perform the following: 10 pull-ups, 50 crunches, and ability to run 3 miles under 18 minutes.
Sounds easy? Being the bold and audacious arrogant bastard that I am, all three tasks must be performed under the following conditions:
Pull-ups: "...correct starting position begins when the [participant's] arms are fully extended beneath the bar, feet are free from touching the ground or any bar mounting assist, and the body is motionless.
Legs may be positioned in a straight or bent position, but may not be raised above the waist.
One repetition consists of raising the body with the arms until the chin is above the bar, and then lowering the body until the arms are fully extended; repeat the exercise. At no time during the execution of this event can a [participant] rest his chin on the bar.
The intent is to execute a vertical “dead hang” pull-up. A certain amount of inherent body movement will occur as the pull-up is executed. However, the intent is to avoid a pendulum-like motion that enhances the ability to execute the pull-up. Whipping, kicking, kipping of the body or legs, or any leg movement used to assist in the vertical progression of the pull-up is not authorized."
Crunches: "Time limit is two minutes. In the correct starting position, participants are on their backs with their shoulder blades touching the deck, knees flexed and both feet flat on the deck.
The arms are folded across and remain against the chest or rib cage with no gap between the forearms and the chest or rib cage when raising the upper body.
One repetition consists of raising the upper body from the starting position until the elbows or forearms touch the thighs and then returning to the starting position with the shoulder blades touching the deck. No bouncing or arching of the lower back is authorized, and the buttocks will remain in constant contact with the deck throughout the exercise."
Running: Non-stop.
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| "...and then I told my weakness: fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!" |
February of 2011 was the catalyst for one of the worst periods of my life, and I'm going to take advantage of such misfortunate as fuel to remember the scabies and trauma that can occur by not being diligent in the direction of your life, and the destructive and unproductive effects of self-doubt and limitless tolerance towards parasites in your life.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to blast some Rage Against the Machine and get to work.
